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You can talk to anyone on a more than superficial level if you are in conversation with a person who knows themselves. Not everyone does, having cultivated a self, made from externalities. Externalities are what we are if we have been formed in the law which is entirely externality. Some people do not understand themselves. They appear to have a very small quantum of inner life, because they have never really been alive. It’s difficult to touch the heart of another in conversation if you do not live in familiarity with your own heart. We can discourse but not with spirit and life.


This is why marriage is described in the Bible as ‘knowing’ your partner. This is not just about sexuality but about knowing the ‘heart and being’ of our spouse. ‘Knowing God’ is the same thing. There’s a reason why we are the Bride of Christ.

Daughters need the real love of a father, but it is hard for a father to give such love if he is insulated from God and from himself by an economic view of life. Or a legalistic one. The daughter of such a father will probably not know who she is until much later in life, having started on the journey of her own self-knowledge with a handicap. In an unconditional discipleship to Jesus we will know Jesus as Jesus is and know ourselves as we are. We will increasingly live to our design.


Knowing one’s heart comes from
knowing God, never from knowing Christianity or religion. Should we not know God in any intimacy, we will not know the truth, will not instinctively move towards the light or be capable of love in any depth. To be a ‘provider’ is good but to provide love is superior.

Some are more practical and out there than others but all are made to contemplate to some extent. All have a spirit and a soul that can be inhabited by the Holy Family.

‘Jesus replied, "Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them’ John 14.23 NIV. His teaching is that He Himself is our life.


Western Society is the community of the ‘
one dimensional man.’ Here one is a self because of what one does, which means humans take on the qualities of the machines that create their wealth. They become objects.

Contemplation is the kind of thinking in which we join the dots of the reality into which we have been born – in which we know the creation in which we live and we know each other because we have learned to find our life in union with God rather than with propositions and legalisms. You have one husband who is Christ.


Some see Reality better than others but not because they are smarter. Usually because they a humbler, they listen more and have not imprisoned themselves inside received ideas. This is why the pure in heart see God and the double-minded only think they do. They become captive to the ingenious fictions they invent to continue in their own darkness. Richard Rohr writes, that in being one with God we are one with the creation.


Creation is one giant symphony of mutual sympathy. To understand [myself and others], I must know that I am, at least in part, the very thing I am seeking [i.e. I am not an abstraction]. In fact, that is what makes me seek it! But most do not know this good news yet. God cannot be found “out there” until God is first found “in here,” within ourselves, as Augustine (354–430) profoundly expressed in many ways in his Confessions. Then we can almost naturally see God in others and in all of creation, too. What you seek is what you are. The search for God and the search for our True Self are finally the same search. St. Francis of Assisi’s all-night prayer, “Who are you, O God, and who am I?” is the most honest prayer we can offer.”